I must have mentioned to you guys a couple of times about my latest pursuit. I’m sure a lot of my recent posts must have disclosed my rededication to Christ as I begin a whole new Christian journey. Well I’ll let you in on a little secret- it’s not been easy.
I tweeted something about a week ago and I guess it summarizes the purpose of my decision : “My aim is not to be overly religious but to be overly in love with Christ”
So maybe I should start by telling you what prompted this whole thing.
I was born and raised in a Christian home. We go to church every Sunday and maybe have occasional family prayers. And all I knew was that: “read your bible,pray everyday and if you sin you’ll go to hell” were the basis of Christianity. There were a lot of things I didn’t understand but because my parents are Christians, therefore It’s enough reason to be one too, right?
As I grew older, my inquisitiveness grew stronger. I needed to know why I was being made to go to church every Sunday, I needed to know why I wasn’t allowed to do some things and why I would be condemned to a life time in burning sulphur if I did. And then I began to wonder: if going to church and doing other religious stuff really is what makes you “a child of God”, what happens to the people I see doing all these things but are still not morally upright.
A lot of things were confusing to me. I didn’t understand why there are so many denominations when the Bible says we are one body of Christ. I didn’t get why it was okay for me to go to my sister’s church without covering my head but in my mom’s church, the women there would call a meeting over me if I tried it.
However, on the other side of things, I’ve been favored all my life. You know that kind of favor when even an atheist would agree that it’s not a natural occurrence? Yep, that kind of favor. And knowing fully well that a supreme being is behind a lot of things, from the rising of the sun to the birth of a baby, I knew He had a hand in my life as well. And I see people who are challenged in one way or the other, say physically, but still serving this Supreme being with all their might.
How much more me, a physically fit person whom he has showered with blessings all her life. Obviously, He wants a relationship with me, so why not give him a chance. I might not have had one of those encounters that prompt people to draw closer to God but do I really have to wait for that?
You know how you’ve heard people say different things about someone and you really want to see for yourself? That’s how I felt. I wanted a personal relationship with him. I wanted to be able to hear from him without having to visit a pastor, I wanted him to answer some of the numerous question I’ve had in my mind for years. And luckily for me, he has an autobiography I could read to learn more about him. I wanted him to call me his very own and not get confused whose side I’m on.
So what have I learnt so far?
First of, Christianity is not a religion; it’s a way of life. One thing you should know is that, this is not my first time of wanting to get close to God, but the only difference this time is, I stood from a relationship with Christ point of view and all those other times, I was more worried about being religious( and I failed at my attempt) Don’t get me wrong, being religious is part of the deal but not the primary purpose. When you desire a relationship with Christ, you want to learn about him, you want to love him and you want to speak to him often and by wanting all these things, you start to do the things that’ll make him happy, like going to church and participating in spiritual courses.
When you make religion your point of concentration, it’s easy to lose focus on the reason for the religion itself , which is Christ , but when you’re in a committed relationship with Him, what you should do per time would gradually become obvious to you.
Another thing I’ve learnt is the gift of free will. He’s not forcing anybody to come to him. And he shows mercy to all mankind! Whether you’re with him or against him. ‘Cos sometimes I wonder why people who don’t even care about God are still breathing. I guess the grace really is for all.
So I’m like, it’s not as if he put a gun to my head that I must love him, this is what I’m choosing to do so why not be committed to it? Why be in today and out tomorrow. Honestly, that just makes me look really confused and undecided.
So why hasn’t it been easy,you may ask?
Hmmmmn, do you know what it means to want to be in a relationship with Christ? I mean, you want to be with the only one who resurrected from the dead, the only one who has never sinned, the Prince of peace himself! I don’t know about you but that is some great standard to want to meet. He’s spotless! I mean he has no stain on his garment and here I am in my stain drenched clothes wanting him to be in my life. Being in a relationship with him would mean I have to make him a role model and like I said, that’s a huge standard to set. I’ll summarize this with some bible passages below.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” Luke 9:23(NIV)
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” Titus 2:11(NIV)
But the good news is, he took me in my wretched state and ready to give me new clothes :). I have to testify to you guys that ever since I’ve been in this relationship, the peace I’ve felt is inexplicable.
And as for my questions, I realized some of the answers are hidden in the Holy book and he leads me to the passages gradually. I’m still finding it hard to let go of some things and I am still thousands of steps away from understanding my lover fully. I still do some of the things he doesn’t like, I am still a baby believer but I hope to get there someday( like pastor Adeboye kinda there :D)
This is just a part of my journey, the beginning in fact, I hope to come with many more stories as I grow deeper in my love affair with Jesus.
You have an inspirational story to share on my blog or you need someone to pray with you on something or you just need to talk to someone? You can email me firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll treat every email confidentially and I’ll be glad to do the little I can.