This is about the third draft of blog post I have written in the past few days and all the other ones remain incomplete. The truth is, I have a lot to write about but I really cannot get my mind to focus on a topic and stick to it; I feel like I’m just all over the place. Today, however, I have made up my mind to do this particular post no matter what.
About two weeks ago, God used me in a way I never expected; Wait, let me rephrase that, I heard God’s voice more clearly than ever. I have always stood behind the walls of written communication because I placed an embargo on verbal expression for myself . I wouldn’t call myself a shy person, I just find it quite difficult or rather exhausting to try explaining my opinions to people when they could just read it. I, however, failed to understand that there’s a higher possibility of misinterpretation in written words, as opposed to spoken ones. That is just by the way anyway.
I joined a christian purity group( A group of young ladies committed to living their lives in alignment with God’s commands ) sometimes last year and I am so glad I made that decision because God has revealed a lot of things to me just by being a part of that community. So what exactly did I hear from God? “S.P.E.A.K”. Yes, God wanted me to speak! I was as confused as a skittle in a box of maltesers.
I spent a better part of last year asking God to reveal his plan for my life to me and my words every time were: ‘Father use me which ever way you so desire” and the first reply I got was to Speak? Speak about what exactly? Like, I am not even a speaker, that is why I own a blog where I can write. Why would God even tell me to do the one thing I’m terrible at. This was the exact same way I bombarded God with these questions as I kept asking him to show me the next step to take in my walk with him. And all I kept getting was SPEAK, that was my next step. I found every way possible way to run away from this, but who am I running from? God? I think not.I finally decided to listen to the rest of the revelation and not flee at the sound of “speak”.
I was making plans with the founder of the purity group earlier this year when I volunteered to hold a mini workshop on “Christian Accountability”. Anyone who knows me well can testify that Moyosore Ajeigbe in her right senses wouldn’t volunteer to stand in front of a group of people to say one sentence, let alone lead a workshop. But of course I wasn’t speaking for myself. I immediately realized that God just put a mini project before me and this might determine where my next step would lead to in my relationship with God. I wasn’t ready to screw things up so I went back into fasting and prayer and asked to be led by him who chose me.
I stood in front of a group of wonderful ladies that night and, to the glory of God, spoke as I was led by the HolySpirit. You may not fully understand how big of a deal this is until God picks your weakness and shapes it into a beautiful vessel for his name to be glorified. This marks an important moment in my life because it made me realize that I should let absolutely nothing hold me back when it comes to letting God’s light shine through me. And then it even occurred to me why God wanted me to speak, If I am going to spend my life walking with God, how am I even supposed to share his awesomeness with others if I won’t even let the words come out of my mouth. Fine I write, but is it really enough to describe this magnificent God? I think I was able to catch a glimpse of how excited the apostles must have been every time they were used by God; trust me being a vessel in God’s hands might seem like a big challenge but it also comes with a great honor and unlimited blessings.
I sat in church last week as tears roll down my eyes when the video of the 21 Egyptian Christians who were beheaded came on. I cried for two reasons which were split into the human and spiritual nature
My first reason for crying was for pity. Those men were someone’s husband, son, brother or friend and displaying such cruelty and also capturing the moment on camera even made it more disheartening.
And just in the middle of my pity tears came into play my spirituality that convicted me. We shed tears for these men on earth but heaven rejoices as it welcomes 21 new conquerors. Even though their death was a gory one, they were beheaded into even greater glory as the crown of life awaits them. This made me look even deeper into my soul and question my faith as I asked myself the same question that silently lurks through every believer’s mind:
“Will I be ready to stand firm and hold on to my belief even in the midst of raging storms?”
I sincerely hope this post leads everyone who reads it into self reflection of how far they can really go in living a life worthy enough to be welcomed into heaven gracefully. I also pray that every believer continues to seek God to reveal his plan for us and that he gives us the courage to allow ourselves be used by him.
“Remember, Christianity isn’t an escape from world’s troubles, it is actually a calling to spiritual war and only warriors who are willing to fight the battle against sin with everything in them, will inherit the kingdom of God”
Grace and Peace