Two posts in a week, dang I’m on a roll! Lol
Okay okay, so today’s topic has been in the oven for quite some time now but I think I finally have the right dishes to place it in.
Before we start, let’s VOTE!
I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems like the world now revolves around “Bae”. I’m talking to a guy friend I haven’t spoken to in a while and one of the first questions he throws at me is: “How is Bae?” Please who is this bae we all speak of? I kid I kid. I know bae very well because I think about him every now and then. I’ve had this conversation I’m about to have with you all with my close friends and I’m pretty sure a lot of young ladies silently/loudly have the same thoughts. So, you’re welcome in advance as I’m about to let it out.
Now on a more serious note, I won’t necessarily say I’m at that age where I need to start fretting about not finding a better half yet; not even close. I won’t however deny the fact that every time I see a “happy couple” I wish for bae too.
So my conversation with that my long time friend goes like this:
Him: “why are you still single?”
me: “I haven’t found the right person”
Him: “what’s your deal breaker?”
me: ” no personal relationship with God”
Him: ” I think you take this dating matter too deep… it’s just boyfriend”
I’ll stop there but if you’ve been reading my blog frequently, you might be able to guess my reply.
Before I go on, I apologize in advance for being gender biased as I’m going to be speaking more from the ladies’ perspective. But! Let the guys stay tuned for theirs right after this.
Someone once said, the second most important decision you’d make in a lifetime is who you choose to marry; with salvation being the first of course. I cannot agree less with this,which is why I won’t rule out anyone for being too young to talk about relationship matters, the earlier you understand what to except, the easier it is for you to wait on the best God has for you.
So why is having a relationship with God my number one turn on?
“If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for the whole body to be thrown into hell”- Matthew 5:29
When you are in a relationship with someone, whether you have intentions of marriage or not, you’ll start to make decisions knowingly or inadvertently around that relationship. As humans, we crave companionship and when we find that one person we can spend so much time with and not get bored, we’d do anything to keep that boat floating. No matter how strong headed you think you are, the person you are with can make and break who you’ll become; we are talking emotional attachment here people.
So as a young christian lady, maybe you’re newly saved or you’ve been on this road for a while, either way, you are making an effort to build your relationship with God. Then a guy comes along, he’s heard about God but he really doesn’t have the “time” and strength to be committed to him what makes you think his commitment to you would be genuine or long- lasting? Before he can put you “Before Anyone Else” (BAE) he must have put God ahead of you.
One fact I have learned in my Christian journey is that, when you walk with God, he puts your life in order. When a man commits to God, his state of confusion is less of a concern because he would know to a reasonable extent what he wants and where he is going. Personally, this would save me a lot of stress trying to explain to him why something is wrong or right because he already knows!, the Holy Spirit resides in him so you don’t have to add that to your job description.
If I am making so much effort to know more about my creator and move closer to him, do you think it would be wise to date someone who doesn’t even understand, a tad bit, what’s going on in my spiritual life?
Does a relationship with God guarantee a perfect man/relationship?
I wish this were true, but it is not. We are humans and the flesh is always going to be against us. Loving God doesn’t exclude you from mistakes but it convicts you to realize it is even a mistake in the first place and to seek a way out of it.Only a man who truly loves God will understand exactly how to love and care for a woman. If he’s an apprentice in the house of the author of love himself, my sister that’s unadulterated love coming your way.
Walking with God equates to you trying to be more and more like him; do you know how much wisdom comes with that? You can’t be guaranteed a drama-free relationship but you can be sure every problem will be solved from a fountain of wisdom. His human nature will definitely come into play every now and then but you’d have enough confidence to stay put because you know there’s a bigger force within him.
Can I change him though?
Please quote and unquote me: ONLY GOD CHANGES PEOPLE. My dear sister, don’t take up God’s job, you cannot change a man. I have been there, I have done that. If you attempt to go into a relationship with the motive of changing him later on, you’re setting yourself up for doomsday. I understand life happens to us sometimes and Mr. perfect self comes along; he has everything a Cinderella could ever wish for except that one thing- God. Then we try to convince every cell in our body, in a every way possible, that we can turn things around as we get caught up in the cross roads of “almost Mr. right”.
Salvation is a personal decision and only God can influence that decision. Fine, God assigns people to be instruments of salvation but you can’t be that instrument if your vision is clouded by emotions.If you feel God has called you to be a saving grace and you’re strong enough not to stumble in your own faith, put the love story aside for a while and concentrate on being a friend and a spiritual assistant. Please, do not test your faith trying to be a savior in a relationship.
Finally darlings, you’re not too young or too old to wait on God’s best for you. Let the kingdom of heaven be your number one priority and all other things will be added on to you. I also understand that there comes a stage in a woman’s life where you’re just an inch away from settling, please don’t. This is when you should fasten up your spiritual seat belt and ask God to take charge of the plane. Don’t settle for what will rid you of your heavenly home.
A man is supposed to help you grow in Christ not distract you from that goal. A man is meant to walk with you on the path to righteousness not distort your vision. Don’t let the world give us a different standard, we already have one we live by.
I need your replies!!! Please don’t let me look like a mad woman talking to myself, lol. Use the comment box for questions and thoughts, share the link to this post (someone needs to know).
Guys remember to stay tuned, follow my blog if you need a reminder when yours is posted!