Who am I ?

“You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely oh Lord”- Psalm 139: 3-4

You guys know how much I love gospel music. Worship is my favorite time with God and I am thankful to the Holy Spirit for being a source of inspiration to many of the songwriters/singers I listen to, because it definitely has to be God. I listen to the words of some songs and I’m like: “they couldn’t have possibly come up with that on their own”. The depth some of these songs carry and the connection I have with them is nothing short of divinity. 

So this song by casting crowns came to my mind when I was having one of those wordless conversations with Pops (God).  The song is titled “who am I” and the line that stood out to me was. 

“Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin, will look on me with love and watch me rise again” 

Boy, did that hit me! 

Do you ever wonder: “if some of our closest friends knew us so much that they know about every sin, every random bad thought that comes to our minds, every craziness…. 

Would they still love us the same?”

No really, you gotta be honest, If the tables were turned, how easy would it be for you to look past that and for how long before the camel’s back is broken?

Well, God does that every time. He knows us more than we even know ourselves. Deepest darkest secrets? Yep. He knows every single one of them. 

But his knowledge of those things doesn’t take an inch, not even a pinch out of the kind of love he has for us. 

Another line in the song goes:

” I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow 

A wave tossed in the ocean 

Vapor in the wind…”

THIS is ME! I see my indecisiveness, my wavering mind, my sometimes shaky faith  and I’m like :

“God how are you able to put up with all of these?”

And my answer was in the bridge of the song that goes: 

“Not because of who I am 

But because of what you’ve done 

Not because of what I’ve done  

But because of who you are”

I could go on and on trying to fathom the extent of God’s love. I could spend my whole life trying to figure it out but I just cannot get to the end of it. As far as the east is from the west…

It has nothing to do with my abilities or the works of my hands. It is simply who he is- Love. 

Thank you daddy, even though I may never get to fully comprehend your love, it is a book I never want to stop reading, it’s a story I never want to stop hearing about, it is a song I never want to stop singing. 

Your love is an ocean that runs deep….